SEXUALITY AND INTIMACY CHALLENGES
Sex is a healthy and natural form of human expression. Sometimes situations such as negative or painful childhood or adult experiences interfere with healthy sexuality. This creates shame and confusion as well as possibly fear and avoidance. I provide sex positive therapy to help you discover the psychological, emotional and physical factors contributing to your sexual concerns and lack of fulfillment and how you can overcome them.
Issues around sexual intimacy can arise from differences in libido, desires, fantasies, and arousal challenges. Many people have difficulty communicating their needs and having open dialogue about pleasure and sexual communication. Disconnection can also come from pressure to perform or achieve orgasm. This can get in the way from being in the present moment with your partner. Overcoming this can take time, both to explore and understand the contributing issues, and to practice allowing greater vulnerability.
How common are intimacy challenges?
Sex and intimacy problems are incredibly common. Sometimes, the same problem persists through every relationship we enter, which can be highly frustrating, and indicating that professional help might be needed to understand the origins or the pattern. In addition, traumatic events in your past can make intimacy very difficult. If you have had a bad relationship experience in the past, then you may not be able to commit to an intimate relationship without some assistance fully.
Symptoms of intimacy challenges:
Difficulty communicating with partner, especially around sex: One of the most common reasons that sex starts to feel routine is through lack of communication. When you keep silent about an issue that is bothering you in the bedroom, it doesn't go away; it will simply come up again, in another form, which can then lead to resentment.
Fear of commitment: A person who has a fear of intimacy is often able to interact with another, at least initially. It's when the relationship grows closer that things begin to fall apart. Instead of connecting on an intimate level, the relationship is ended in some way, and possibly replaced by by a more superficial relationship.
Perfectionism: Underlying a fear of intimacy often lies a feeling that a person does not deserve to be loved and supported. This leads to the need to be “perfect” and the fear often works to push others away.
Difficulty expressing needs: Again, this may stem from feeling undeserving of another's support. Since partners are unable to "mind read," those needs go unfulfilled, which then confirms the person's feelings that he or she is unworthy.
How therapy can help:
Many people find discussing their sexuality both stressful and uncomfortable. My goal is to provide a healing environment where you can talk about your problems openly. Doing so gives you the opportunity to formulate your sexual identity, achieve personal growth, and feel more comfortable with your sexuality. Issues addressed during therapy include attachment issues, fears of intimacy, and sexual anxieties.
It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help regarding sexuality, and many have been suffering for years. I provide a safe and affirming environment to help you feel supported in exploring any concerns you might have related to sex and/or intimacy, and hopefully allow you to feel more comfortable when communicating about sex.