Termination of Pregnancy for Medical Reasons (TFMR): Grieving a Loss that Few Talk About

Perinatal loss is a heartbreaking and often overlooked form of grief, especially when the loss occurs due to Termination for Medical Reasons (TFMR). If you’ve made the devastating decision to end a wanted pregnancy because of a severe medical diagnosis or life-threatening complication, you are carrying a unique kind of pain. It's the loss of a baby, a dream, and a future that once felt certain.

Unlike other types of pregnancy loss, TFMR sits at the intersection of trauma, grief, and incredibly complex decision-making. And yet, many women and families grieving this kind of perinatal loss feel isolated, misunderstood, or unsure where to turn for support.

What Is TFMR?

Termination for Medical Reasons (TFMR) occurs when a pregnancy is ended due to serious fetal anomalies or significant risks to the pregnant person’s health. These decisions are made not from a place of indifference, but from profound love, protection, and heartbreak. Many individuals and couples facing TFMR had longed for this pregnancy, imagined their baby’s future, and never anticipated having to make such a painful choice.

Despite the depth of loss, TFMR is often shrouded in silence and stigma. And because of this, grieving after TFMR can feel incredibly lonely.

TFMR Is Perinatal Loss

Perinatal loss includes miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death, and TFMR. All of these experiences involve the loss of a baby during pregnancy or shortly after birth. Yet TFMR is rarely acknowledged in the same way, even though the grief is just as real—and often even more complicated.

Women and families grieving a TFMR often experience:

  • Deep sadness and heartbreak over the loss of their baby

  • Guilt and self-doubt, even when the medical facts were clear

  • Shame or silence due to societal stigma and misunderstanding

  • Isolation from friends, family, or providers who don’t know what to say

  • Disenfranchised grief, where the loss isn’t openly recognized or supported

You may still remember the due date. You may have picked out a name. You may feel triggered by seeing other babies or pregnancy announcements. These are all natural and painful responses to a profound loss.

The Importance of Acknowledging Your Grief

One of the hardest parts of TFMR is feeling like you have to justify your pain. But you don’t. You are allowed to grieve the baby you lost, even if the decision was medically necessary. You are allowed to hold love, sadness, confusion, and relief all at once.

This type of grief is layered—and it’s often invisible to others. But that doesn’t make it any less real.

Naming TFMR as perinatal loss helps validate your experience. It gives you permission to mourn, to speak your truth, and to seek support that understands the depth of what you’re going through.

Healing After TFMR: Therapy for Perinatal Grief

Grieving after TFMR takes time, support, and care. You don’t need to go through it alone. Therapy can be a powerful space to begin healing from perinatal loss, especially when your grief feels unspoken or unsupported.

In therapy, you can begin to:

  • Process medical trauma and emotional overwhelm

  • Honor the baby you lost in meaningful ways

  • Explore guilt, anger, sadness, and love, all without judgment

  • Navigate changes in identity, relationships, or future pregnancies

  • Reconnect with your body, your intuition, and your voice

Therapy for perinatal grief offers compassionate support tailored to your specific experience. Whether your TFMR was recent or years ago, healing is possible and you are worthy of care.

You Are Not Alone

If you are grieving after a TFMR, know this: you are not alone. You are not a bad parent. You made an impossibly hard decision in the face of heartbreaking circumstances. And your pain deserves acknowledgment.

Support for TFMR and perinatal loss is available. You don’t have to keep this grief to yourself. Whether you're seeking validation, guidance, or simply a space to cry, therapy can help you move forward while honoring the love you’ll always carry for your baby.

Support for TFMR and Perinatal Loss

If you're struggling with a pending decision to terminate for medical reasons or trying to make sense of how to move forward after your pregnancy loss,  please reach out. Together, we can process your feelings, develop coping skills, and create a plan to move forward. If you have questions or want to know how I can help, I offer a 20-minute consultation.

Therapy for Birth Trauma, Trauma TherapyJoanna Rosenblatt